August 10, 1813 – July 21, 1903

by Ellen Chesley Weig, St. Matthew’s Church, Hillsborough, NC, 2015

Mary Curtis was a clergyman’s wife. Some of her letters, written at the end of the Civil War, were the focus of St. Matthew’s participation in Hillsborough’s sesquicentennial celebration of the end of the war. Hillsborough was the site of negotiations in April 1865, prior to Confederate surrender at nearby Bennett Place. Mary’s story was one of “unfaltering faith,” despite the difficulties and losses in her life, including the death in March, 1865, of her young son at Bentonville, the last battle of the Civil War in North Carolina.

Mary was born in Wilmington, the daughter of a wealthy family. She met Moses Ashley Curtis of Massachusetts when he arrived in Wilmington as a tutor for Gov. Dudley’s children. Just eighteen years old, Mary became one of Curtis’s music and organ students until Curtis returned North to continue his studies. After many letters back and forth, Curtis wrote to Mary’s father, Dr. Armand J. DeRosset, to ask his permission to be “admitted into relationship with his family” (June 19, 1834) and to tell him that, while he had no possible inheritance and that he would be entering holy orders soon, all he wanted from Dr. DeRosset was “your Mary.” They were married at St. James in Wilmington that December.

Mary’s role as the wife of a nineteenth-century clergyman seemed to provide support and affirmation of Curtis’s faith: “I first made choice of you to be the partner of my life … you have higher incentives to holiness than a mere reward for my happiness.” (May 19, 1834) Her life varied from travel to the mountains as a young bride to settling into new rectories as Mr. Curtis changed churches. She returned to Wilmington during times of family illnesses and had extended periods alone with children in the rectory during Curtis’s travels to the mountains in pursuit of his beloved botanical specimens or trips north on Episcopal Church business. Four of Mary’s ten children died as infants or young children. Both she and Mr. Curtis delighted in their sons, affectionately referring to them as “the Bishop, Priest, and Deacon” (Sept 19, 1842) and grieved two deaths deeply. One of her boys, Charlie, did become an Episcopal priest and served St. Matthew’s after his father’s death.

Their greatest loss, however, was John Henry’s death at Bentonville. He was buried at St. Matthew’s with five other young men who died with him. Mary’s loving memorial for “Non” and his comrades at arms was the gift of the “Confederate Bell” in March, 1878. It replaced the original bell which had been given to the Confederacy with others from Hillsborough to be made into guns. Mary’s bell has been rung every week since Easter Sunday, 1878.

After the sudden death of the Rev. Dr. Curtis, the Vestry of St. Matthew’s voted to allow Mary to remain living in the rectory for as long as she needed. She is buried in the churchyard with her children and her husband.

Letters cited: M.A. Curtis Papers, #199, Southern Historical Collection, The Wilson Library, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill